roids

If u not getting bigger, not getting stronger.... Just go on roids! Ya u may die from liver or kidney failure.. Or get so mmuch acne that girls don't look at you.. Or you will probably be kicked off your sports team because you 'cheating'... Its fine! Because you will be huge!!

Okay no, I'm kidding, roids are dump! Because at the end of the day you will look out of proportion, have acne, be angry all the time, waste money and loose nearly all your gains!!
Rather train naturally and in 4, 5years, you'll have the most amazing body you've always wanted!!


Look at any guy who has taken juice and look at them now, how fat they are! Top rugby players have retired because of to much roids!! WWE wrestlers have died!
Is it really worth it??

some more gyming jokes :)

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE READ ABOUT GYM!!

if you catch your kid smoking cigarettes you can:

A) forbid him (always backfires) or B) make him smoke cigarettes all day until he pukes. So if you think your kid might be queer, bring him to a men’s locker room and make him look at all these disgusting naked men all day. After he sees 347 gross, saggy, sweaty, back-acne-infested, hair-clump-having naked dudes, there is no way he will want to be gay. This is the only way to un-gay him.

You do realize you can’t really “ungay” someone. But looking at old naked people is a great way to make young people vomit. I’ve noticed a major difference between the young and old. Young people are very picky about who they are friends with. There are all sorts of requirements. They have to be as “cool” as you. They have to dress a certain way. They have to have similar interests. For an old person to be friends with another old person, there is one requirement: you need to be alive.

Old people automatically have something in common with each other: the hatred of everything else. It’s a real bond. In my studies of the elderly, I’ve noticed they talk about their health like we talk about sports.

US:

“How ‘bout those Mets?”

“Terrible! No starting pitching.”



THEM:

“How ‘bout your bowels?”

“Irritable! Blood in my urine.”

But at least old nubs aren’t so damn competitive when it comes to stupid stuff. Young dudes are ridiculous.

Dudes playing ball at the gym HATE to lose. So they HATE me. Because I just don’t give a shit! I could lose all day. I’ve got other things going on in MY life.

They yell at me: “Why don’t you hustle? Why don’t you run? Why don’t you jump?”

“Why don’t you get a girlfriend?!!”

Sh!t, I play just to MAKE them lose. I hate those bastards. It’s not all about winning. It’s about killing time.

When I play basketball, I play LAZY MAN’S BASKETBALL. We got rules. No running. No jumping. Sweating is a foul.

Whatever. Who the hell goes to the gym to exercise? I go because I love watching bims work out. “Lose that ass, girl! Sweat, baby!”

One time, I fell off the treadmill because a hot bim walked past in the other direction. Just WAP! Fell right off. It was so worth it though. Because now she's aware that I like her. And when my nose heals, I’m gonna talk to her. Okay, so I’m on a treadmill. There are 8 treadmills lined up side by side in front of a mirrored wall. All of the machines are in use. We’re all doing our thing. Then dude with headphones to my right starts singing in Spanish.

Um, what’s that about?

Then, dude to my left starts rockin’ out, “♫ CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON! THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE! ♫"

Uh, what the fuddruckers?

Then this old lady belts out, “♫ PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE ARE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE…”

They were really getting into it too! Waving their arms like a conductor… dude was playing air guitar while running on the treadmill… old lady making strained faces in the mirror like she was trying to pass a watermelon through her ass.

What the hell is going on here?! SHUT UP!! Running was easy. Listening to Streisand combined with Classic Rock and Spanish music was making me sweat. Then. Finally. My evil looks must have paid off.

They shut up.

Copious, delicious silence. A deep, fresh breath of quiet air in my lungs.













“♫ CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON!!! THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE!!! ♫"



“♫ PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE ARE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE… ♫”



“♫ HOY HE VUELTO A CAER, NO PUEDO SOPORTAR, LAS FOTOS DEL AYER!! ♫”


They won. I left. They high-fived each other. Then one of their buddies showed up to take my place. Those bastards!


My breast experience was when this bim in the gym was bouncing on the treadmill in a sports bra. No t-shirt, just the sports bra. Her huge natty hooters were JIGGLING! Overflowing. I never ran so fast in my life. It was like her face-pillows were a carrot-on-a-stick in front of me. I imagine that’s how marathon runners do it. It’s the secret of how the Kenyans win every year. They imagine they are running in pursuit of the biggest, softest face-pillows ever. And they only have 2 hours to get to them. 26 miles doesn’t seem like so far to run when hooters are involved.

But N.E. WAY, I was staring at her bouncing bra-bubbles in the mirror. Some nubs try to be slick. They get a quick glimpse. Get in. Get out. Like a criminal. But my mental photography doesn’t last that long. I need a prolonged, lascivious stare. Sometimes I stare so hard my cornea will pop out of my eye socket.

I don’t know, it’s like I’m cheating off her breasts on a Math test. I got a lot of answers but I just want one more peek!!

NOTE: Since this story has been published, my gym membership has been revoked. I’m not sure why. Something about how I offended their gay, female, and senior members. How was I supposed to know the manager of the health club was a lesbian named Mildred?!

Get big and party hard!!

WHATS UP WHATS UPPPPPPPPP :)

time to train big to get big!! get the body u want and make those shirts fit tight and party it up on the 4TH JUNE at the RAGE INTRO 2 PARTYYYYYYYYYY :D 

==========

G&G Productions
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presents

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An All White Affair
===========

at

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Manhattan Club



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This is the second Rage Festival Introduction Event of the year and promises to be bigger, better and louder than the previous party!

Headlining the night is the mix Meistro DJ Kent with Royal K, G-Funk, Spindoctor and your Rage residents Mojo and Dj Dunn playing in the slots around him.

Tickets are limited to 1500 so make sure you get them early to avoid disappointment.

Dress in all white and you will be revealed on the night with an amazing lighting extravaganza being rigged.

Tickets:
R80 - pre sold.
R100 - At the door.

For tickets get hold of meeee (LUKE SPOLANDER) on 082 779 9834 or bbm me on 23C098F9 :D going too  be sooooo bigggg :)

get your best body!!!

Do intense core workouts!!!

Skipping, running, swimming all help!!

Go heavy or go home!!!!

Gym joke

Heres just a joke i was told today and thought it was funny and true! :)
A guy walks up to a personal train in gym and says, "my bru what machine should i use to impress that girl over there" , personal trainer looks at him and says, "the ATM machine out side".

Have a laka week this week and remember to increase your weight each week. Even if its by 5kg's!!

Saturday... 2nd day off!

Today is another rest day! and hopping you partied hard last night!! get some rest! :)
hoping u did a good arm session yesterday!

Gym is a hobbie, an addiction..... it helps relax someone! Allows others to take anger out! take a break from stress and work! and women!
Getting big requires total dedication and training very hard! which sometimes can be a pain in the ass!
heres some inspirational pictures! enjoy :)

Todays your day off :( !!

Todays a sad day!! you don't get to gym!! :(
But dont let that stop you from doing a sick AB'S workout and some cardio!

All of that helps you get your perfect body! Use today to relax and stretch all your muscles so when you train tomorrow you feeling good and strong!
It would be a good idea to save a bit of money for supplements as these will help you alot!

A good combo which does work and world be worth doing research on is this :
Muscle Science - Anabolic (mass builder/glutamine/creatine stack)
Muscle Science - ZMA (testosterone booster)
Weider - Amino 6000 (amino acids)

Gyming can cause huge injuries if not done properly so be careful and dont push over your limit! train nice and take it easy!

Great gymming sets and supplement advice

Hey everyone! :)
This blog is aimed at all the guys, but if you a big strong muscular woman feel free to try!
When you gym, doing the correct sets and reps per set is important!
Im going to tell you my gymming plan for each muscle group. per day
im putting up yesterdays and todays gym plan and will update it regally!
An important thing to remember is that you need to push yourself , BUT if you cant push that weight for the allocated number of reps per set then you wasting your time! Try push the weights i have said below, but if you cant, push what you are comfortable with!

Mondays:
Today we going to train chest.
Getting a big chest is always good so push yourself and start your week of gym off strong!
Remember to warm up shoulders and chest with light weights(4 or 6kg dumbbells)

Number of sets PER exercise: 4 and Number of reps PER set: 10 (unless stated otherwise)

• Incline bench press:
• Warm up on 60kg
• Set 1: 70kg
• Set 2: 80kg (try between 8-10 reps)
• Set 3: 100kg (between 4-5 reps)
• Set 4: 100kg (between 4-5 reps)

• Incline dummbell fly press:
• Set 1: 14kg
• Set 2: 16kg
• Set 3: 20kg
• Set 4: 24kg

• Normal bench press:
• Set 1: 70kg
• Set 2: 80kg
• Set 3: 100kg (try between 4-5 reps)
• Set 4: 120kg (try between 4-5 reps)

• Machine fly super set: (You super set between each machine none stop)
• pectoral fly press machine:
• Set 1: 60kg
• Set 2: 65kg
• Set 3: 70kg
• Set 4: 75kg
• Chest press machine: (close grip so it works fly's)
• Set 1: 60kg
• Set 2: 65kg
• Set 3: 70kg
• Set 4: 75kg

Tuesdays:

Back. This is my favorite muscle to train.

Big back is always good!!

warm up with wide grip pull up's (5reps and 3sets) just to get the blood flowing

• Lat pul down machines: (remember when doing this exercise do not use momentum to pull the weight down! focus on using your lats! On the machine there will be a place to hook your knees in, lift that up all the way so you dont use it to help you pull the weight down!

• Set 1: 60kg
• Set 3: 70kg
• Set 4: 80kg
• Set 5: 90kg

• Sitting rows: when doing this, remember keep back straight and when you pull the bar towards you, you must feel you back squeezing!
• Set 1: 65kg
• Set 2: 75kg
• Set 3: 95kg
• Set 4 push yourself by doing a proper drop set 10reps each weight non stop : 
• 105kg
• 95kg
• 75kg
• 65kg
• lateral back row: (do not do each side at the same time)
• Set 1 : 60kg
• Set 2: 80kg
• Set 3: 100kg (6-8 reps)
• Set 4: 100kg (6-8 reps)

• Lastly my favorite. DEAD LIFT!! This is an essential exercise to do as it helps put grow muscle and is pure strength (NB!! If you do not know how to dead lift then do not push these weight, start light and get your form right when doing it, ask for help if necessary)

• Set 1: 100kg
• Set 3: 120kg 
• Set 4: 140kg (6-8 reps)
• Set 4: 160kg (3-5 reps)

NB... remember to stretch before and after for each exercise and stretch before each set!

drink water before each set or after each set. And pase yourself!

When it comes to supplements you DEF need a protein shake to take in mornings and after gym

and a pre work out before gym to get that extra boost of energy that will help alot during your sets!

When it comes to protein shakes my brands i prefer is SSN, Miogen and Supplement SA and when it comes to pre work out's i love SSN , SPS and Supplement SA brands :)

if you have any queries leave me an email or comment and i can help!

i do sell most brands of all supplements  in the northcliff area!

GYM HARD!!

remember.... "If the bar ain't bending, you just pretending"

What foods are good and bad? And how to train properly

Foods! 
What's heathy and what's bad for you....
Its simple, DONT eat fast foods! ( for e.g. Mac donald's).
Focus on high protein, high carb meals. You need to eat lots of heathy food to grow!
For those who gym and are wondering why they not gain muscle size... its because you not eating properly!
Jay cutler (Famous body builder) eats currently 6500cals a day just to maintain 300lb of muscle.
you need to eat at least 3 times as much as you are now to see results.
so thats 6-8 proper meals a day!
Roast chickens, Pure beef, potatoes, veggies, pasta!

don't misunderstand what I'm saying, don't eat so much you cunder!! eat till you full and eat a little more after.

Gym!
When you gym you have to do it properly! You don't TRY push heavy heights if you cant do proper reps!
There's Gyming, and there's body building, and yes there's a BIG difference!
Im ONLY focusing on gyming proper.
you need to train a muscle group PER DAY! Train 5 day a week and a 2day break, but your breaks cant be right after each other. When you train for example back, you do 4sets for each part of your back and try do 8-10reps each set. And last set do your max for 6reps. Train like this for months while taking the right safe supplements and eating properly like i've explained and you'll see HUGE natural results.






 

                                           Some useful tips:

• Try training with someone, that way you have someone to push you while you doing your sets and to spot.
• Don't push a weight you know you cant do or you'll injure yourself and could be off gym for more then 6 months.
• Don't take illegal substances as it can damage your body and could lead to death if not taken properly. 
• Lastly training is fun! Don't favor one muscle group! Train every muscle group well! You should be a little stiff in the morning, Thats a GOOD sign!

 In my next blog i'll give intense work outs for all muscles groups and supplement advice.